I was asked a question by my English professor a few days ago that made me a bit uneasy. It wasn't awkward or anything near that sort of thing.. but it was a question I felt needed a proper and a very specific answer. An answer that would make people sit back in their chairs and think about life, if only for a moment. An answer that would in a sense define my very persona. I felt that through the answer
I gave of this question would really effect the way people look and me and what I do differently... dramtic, right?
"What do you photograph?" was the paramount question.
I very quickly fell into an internal mental war with myslef, thinking of what this grounbreaking answer might be.. here's what flooded through my head in the space of about 5.4 seconds:
What?
Why did he ask that?!
UUUHHMM
photograph?
I knew I'd have to answer this someday-
house..dog nature? tree..
William Eggleston quote?
No. I'm stupid.
I want soup...
Wait- what was the question?!
photograph?!
"Everything?" was my genius answer.
Even though I'm sure the rest of the class moved on instantly after I mumbled the best thing I could conjure up, I felt so unconfident about my answer. I had thought of it ever since I started clinging to photography the way I have; "what do I photograph?" nature? people? albino giraffes? Honestly I have never felt a constant devotion to one subject matter. I love to photograph just what I told my professor: everything. At least everything that is beautiful and has a sense of importance or beauty to me. And compared to some, I find beauty in strange things most of the time. So why did I have such problem with my answer? About 5 hours after I blurted it out , I realized why it staked such an unpleasant claim in my mind.
I don't like putting limits on what I love to do. Although I have done it, limitng myself to a certain label makes me feel very closed in and essentially trapped. As it probably does many people.
I also soon realized that this applies to life beautifully as well.
Girls. Be honest. We've all had our moments when we look at someone older, and admire their lifestyle so much that we declare within ourselves that we will be exactly like that when we can. I'm not smack talking the idea of having a role model, {I am more than for having a role model, I have so many. And I'm sure Abe Licoln had a few, too} but I do believe that we continually, need to be ourselves. More specifically, the BEST versions of ourselves that we can possibly be.
I can easily blame why I had, up until a few days ago,this fixation with having to label myself on the way my high school years went. I felt that if I never limited myself to one label I would never really be someone; someone important at least. I always had to be either the theater nerd, hipster, the innocent one, the bully, the girl who had a terrible time with math.. there's always labels available. But now I finally realize that limitng yourself to a label is very far from being who you really need to be. If I was constantly spending my time trying to be like someone or something else I'd be the same as a poker-driven cow along with all the other cattle who have the same label as me. It's better to be yourself, than to be a lemming.
It's easy while reading this, to be under the impression that I am trying to imply that rules are meant to be broken. That isn't true. Sensible rules and restrictions can be a perfect thing. I believe in modesty, not just in dress but in conduct, and keeping impurities from my mind and body. But when we as humans are able to live without those immodest or impure things holding us down, we must live life to it's fullest. Don't let things of the world, or things you know will hurt you put a limit on how marvelous and surprising your life can be.
I feel like I have jumped from subject to subject.. and that's probably true because I haven't written in quite a while.
And while I'm sure there's some things that I say that people will disagree with, in all honesty I may find myself disagreeing with it someday too. But for now, it rings so true to me.
Never limit yourself. Have complete belief that what you are meant to become is the most incredible, the most useful and wonderful person you can be.
Be what you want to become, and never be anything less than yourself.
PLEASE PLEASE : If you want to see my photos {i tried posting them on here....didn't work} go to Hayli Jo Photo on Facebook.com and LIKE IT! :) thank you!!
